**Cross posted to fatguyinalittlecoat.wordpress.com**

The one thing I promised myself when I got back into this, is that no matter what happened, I would be real about my experience. So, here’s me being real: I’m failing.

While sending the check off to Free Arts was a great feeling, hoping that our small, collective effort could help, the time lapse has yielded nothing good in terms of my weight. I feel my body changing, and it sickens me. Now, I’ve always been content with who I am, and have mostly been able to carry out my life with a decent dose of confidence, but I’m feeling the great effect of doing nothing.

I’d like to get started with the next fund raiser, and in fact, I’ve got a really unique, small foundation that I have some ties to that I think is very deserving. However, in order for me to pick up where I left off, I need to lose weight.

Yes, you read correctly. I gained weight back. I suck.

I have, however, started running again, though after a few weeks, I managed to find myself in a rut. I am not much of a morning person, so I’ve not been getting runs in. It’s getting way too hot out there…and I need to find away to get up early and get motivated again.

I’m not going to tell you how much I’ve gained back (it’s not much), but I need to get back to my magic number so we can start the dang fund raiser.

It’s time to stop failing.